She Sees

Back in San Francisco, she used to play “Would You Rather?” with her friends as they sat around someone’s TV room or bedroom or kitchen on sleepover nights. Her “friends” were really just two girls: Sunny and Erin. She wasn’t one for socializing in big groups, though she wasn’t especially picked on or targeted by larger friend circles at school. She figured out at a young age how girl groups worked, so she was good at staying out of people’s way…staying anonymous when she wanted to be. She, Sunny and Erin made up just the right triad. Her mom always called them that: “Here comes The Triad! You know amazing things happen in threes don’t you?” They’d roll their eyes but secretly relish in the insinuation. They were just fine as they were. They didn’t need anyone else. 

For some reason, laying in her newly inhabited bedroom on the other side of the country staring at the ceiling, she was thinking about one night when “Would You Rather?” started up. Sunny asked, “Would you rather lose your sight or hearing?” Ah, they’d been over that one before, but she always loved to hash out the same questions again. Erin jumped in confidently: “Sight! You guys know I love music and talking too much. And I’ve been thinking, how could you live without hearing the people you love ever again?” “I could,” she responded under her breath. There was a brief pause in which Sunny and Erin exchanged glances. She usually ended up being the contrarian in these games. It felt like one of the safer places to disagree. After all, nothing would come of the questions. It was all made up. 

“Come on, really?” Erin asked. She thought for a moment about what to say this time. “I feel like being able to hear is exhausting. I listen to people all day…teachers, my mom, the guy on the radio, stupid TV shows. Sure, I’d miss music, but my eyesight is too important to me. The world is full of beautiful things. I don’t need to hear to feel inspired, but not being able to see colors? That’s too much. That’s more important to me than listening to all these people I don’t want to. Besides you two, of course.” She added that last bit with a little smile. Her mom told her she could come off a little harsh, so she was trying to be nicer when she could remember.